I wrote a post almost exactly a year ago today (2nd January 17) with some ‘resolutions’ and how I was going to change me- if I am correct it was titled “New year new me”?
Well, shortly after writing that post I had a very difficult start to the year (personal stuff- not going into detail). Basically it set the year off in a bad way, and it just continued to go that way.
Don’t get me wrong, I had some great moments in 2017, but there was always that underlying issue I had going on in my head. My weight.
When I think of the good moments I had in 2017, like a random weekend camping because it was hot- what I also remember is the struggle I had in finding something to wear that fitted me, but was also comfortable and suitable for the 25+ degree weather we had.
I attended 5 weddings in 2017, only 1 of those weddings I wasn’t stressing about how I looked or how uncomfortable I felt with myself. That was in April where I had reached a point where I had picked myself back up a little, but by May my confidence had dropped right again.
I know this is all very gloomy, but my blog to me is kind of like a diary, I know a handful of people may read it so it feels nice to be able to note these feelings sometimes. Who knows, there may be someone else out there who is feeling the same?
I was at my lowest point in 2017, if how I felt is a touch of what people with depression feel like, I cannon comprehend what that feels like, and my deepest sympathy goes to those that struggle. I do not want to let myself get so low again.
And that is why I want 2018 to be different, I am in the last 5 months of my degree (god I can’t wait for the finishing line), I feel like once I have my degree completed I can finally start moving forward with my life, I juggle so much right now, I honestly think I am crazy, but I like to be busy, I like having lists and checking things off.
So 2018, the year of looking after me. I am really excited for what 2018 can bring, opportunities that may (hopefully) arise, and the potential it can show.
Thank you for sticking around if you read this, or if you tune in to my videos on YouTube, it really is appreciated.
Lets enjoy the moments and have a positive year.